Seldom could one’s benign idiosyncrasies, odd fashion elections, peculiar vernaculars, or unfit physique escape the judging eyes of others. Should an act of absurdness surface, the certainty of it becoming someone’s liberator of boredom that night is incontrovertible. The recipients of our incongruities will voyage into their social realm, sharing with their audience a measurement of incompetence on us, associate an innovative comical reference to the event and emanate a jaundiced perspective on us to persons with whom we are yet to be acquainted. Gossiping guarantees the instigator a validation of their assessments and sanctions the victim to a quasi-perpetual image of condemnation and mistrust. And yet, the act had been an integral feature of human evolution ever since communication first emerged. Only through it could an account of anything ever be told, indeed, History is essentially someone tattling on the particularities of a past era, hence the incalculable incidents of favoritism in textbooks and the myriad, quite distinctive, narrations of any past event. Therefore, a rumination is initiated that seeks not to question the fundamentality of gossiping in relation to sound functioning, but rather the drives that govern its structure, exclusively when gossiping is utilized to cause a deleterious effect. In other words, what are the typical frameworks of nattering on what is deemed misbehavior, and what does it generally reflect about the gossipers?
Essentially, the act is tailored to service the delivery of an opinion, and it's precisely on the nature of that opinion where perils could appear and injure the brittle fabrics protecting someone’s reputation. The gossiper is often cognizant of the destructive potentiality bubbling within words but fails to resist the impulse of sharing the episode with their company. Following a heartful rant, the gossipmonger effectively generates a binary structure that holds the target as a ‘stranger’, an ignoramus who failed to perform judiciously within the gossiper’s acceptable parameters of mannerism. In the gossiper’s voice, one could effortlessly hear a rascal child boisterously shouting “This fool violated this and this, and therefore I condemn them. I know better, for I would never perform as outrageously as they did.” The speaker feels insulted and entitles the person behind the cause to denunciation. Perhaps they were indeed in their presence of offensive behavior, but given their mental declaration to retreat from confrontation at the precise moment where their matter could have been addressed and elected to publicize their disappointment in the absence of the responsible individual, points to an illogicality in their assessment. For since the accused is unable to deliver a why, the gossiper is forced to assemble their own version of the motivations, which will, understandably, be incomplete, if not downright delusory.
Here, if gossiping is channeled to merely nude an individual of any virtues and to subject their actions to inexplicable detestation, it becomes an enemy to communication, one that must be defeated. The dogmatic nature of adverse gossiping has to be combated, and the primary soldiers of such conflict are incontestably the listeners. Those in the gossiper’s presence must not embellish the unfair evaluations with senseless nods or approvals, but instead aid the gossiper in relinquishing their antipathetic attitude, which is often wedded to narcissism, to that which is different or unfamiliar.
One’s importunity to gossip on the bizarreness of others speaks to their deficient awareness of their flaws, and indeed, to their damaged caliber to comprehend that their deeds will be, one day, repainted by others in an analogous, if not, given the cruelty of man, even harsher methodology. Gossip is inspired by the imagination that there exists a particular segment of people who can be irrational, archaic, awkward, lead lives of impossible relatability, or possess the capacity to commit regrettable actions. The gossipmongers have erroneously arrested certain unlucky specimens in their prisons of disapproval, overlooks them contemptuously, and decline to draw any connection between the erratum in the behavior of others and their own flawed beings. Gossipers suppress the candor of life’s magnanimous quality, that we are all defective. Imperfection is the default mode available to all humans, and not only the unlucky few whose imperfect nature happened to be caught by our ever-inequitable perception.
By Mustafa M. Abuhamdeh.
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