How to think about breakups.

Updated: May 19, 2020

The accumulation of events leading to forming a relationship with a crush of ours is often accompanied by the sound of our chatter with the closest of mates. Henceforth, regularly, after turning such an exquisite fantasy into a reality, we are bloomed by the congratulations and blessings that promise a fruitful path ahead. Alas, many of such scenarios conclude in the separation of what once thought to be an everlasting company.


Myriad phraseologies can be uttered over the inconspicuousness flora of the most heart cataclysmic deed known ceremoniously as a “Break-up.” Besides mental illnesses and the laborious mourning of the passing of a dear soul, the end of a relationship is the leading cause of suicidal attempts, and that’s due to the arduousness of struggling to visualize ourselves stirring beyond the emotions we so sincerely held toward our former partners. Ever since youthfulness we were brought up by raconteurs and truth-seekers over the idea of needing to pursue our soulmates, for in within such a promising notion is the only true triumph and one could ensuingly experience the dream of “living happily ever after”. Yet, we seldom ever speak of the settings one might endure should the reverie cease to be, which leaves the conception of such themes so petrifyingly vague.


The end of an affiliation, leaves one mystifyingly wondering of rejoinders to countless inquires left unreciprocated, the incapability of finding answers leaves one roaming in a vast cluster of blame and regret. which later manifests into hatred toward themselves and the world around them. Thus it’s pardonable for those suffering the repercussion of a schism to feel abandoned, despondent and unaided due to the loss of what they believed to be their heart's desire. In the context of a breakup, one becomes unidentified with their rationality and will be acting primarily upon emotional impulse which leads to what’s erroneously interpreted as a seemingly unending state of depression.


At such unforgiving sightings, it would be difficult to envision an escape. However, the healing factor exists in disregarding the ancient cliché of believing in the existence of happily-ever-after life entirely. Break-ups happen so often due to immense reasons ranging from the most puerile to the overly imperative of matters, and while many of such issues resolve fairly quickly, others prove challengingly rigid to overcome; therefore, a breakup is fundamentally the result of failing to understand the wants, needs and limits of ourselves and our significant other.

Breakups should influence your future choices and not spark hatred, for such emotion will be falsely guided by repentance of what can no longer be changed. It’s naïve of any to overestimate a former, current or future relationship to be everlasting or assume that holding hands with a particular somebody will accommodate our tragic existence with unrivalled happiness. For though love has its unparalleled magic, it’s misuse, or rather overuse brings unsurpassed misery.


References:

-https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1049732314553441

-https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10609425

-https://www.inverse.com/article/35834-teen-breakups-leading-cause-of-suicide

-https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/media-spotlight/201711/how-dangerous-is-broken-heart


Suggested books on the topic:

1- How to Fix a Broken Heart by Guy Winch 2018. Reviews based on Goodreads: 4.2/5

2-Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss Into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott, 2009. Reviews based on Goodreads: 4.2/5

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